The Middle-Aged Thigh Gap

I’ve had a few sleepless nights worrying about my thigh gap recently.

 

For those of you who’ve spent the last few months in a coma, the new way to improve your stick insect credentials these days is to have a distinct gap between your thighs, like this:

 

The Middle Aged Thigh Gap

Which is about as fattist as the fashion for midriff tops and low-cut jeans, in my opinion.

 

It goes without saying that I checked my thigh gap out immediately, but the only way I could manage to find any space between my thighs was when I opened my legs REALLY, REALLY wide.

 

Unfortunately, I found that I couldn’t actually walk at the same time.

 

What I do have, however, is a very good THIGH LAP.

 

Here’s the thing. What these skinny wannabes don’t seem to appreciate is that there are actually so many more advantages to NOT having a gap between your thighs.

 

Which is why us middle-aged women have a preference for the thigh lap.

 

For example:

 

Hot chips don’t fall through the gap and onto the car seat after that impulsive drive-thru Maccas, when you have a thigh lap.

 

Your thigh lap protects your private parts from unwanted predators, (like your husband), and the cold.

 

Thigh laps catch those precious biscuit crumbs when scoffing on the sofa and saves them for you for dessert.

 

What would you prop your laptop on in bed without the thigh lap?

 

How would you eat in front of the tv without your thigh lap?

 

How would the cat ever get comfortable if you didn’t have a thigh lap?

 

Cute Little Couch Potato
Cute Little Couch Potato (Photo credit: peterned)

 

I rest my case.

 

What do you use your thigh lap for?

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5 thoughts on “The Middle-Aged Thigh Gap

  1. For heavens sake. I used to have a thigh gap, but back then everyone just said I had bandy legs. So I’ve worked hard (eating lots and lots and lots) to develop a thigh lap…and now I’m meant to aspire to having a thigh gap? I’m with you and signing up for the promotion of thigh lap benefits. Far better for squishy toddler cuddles. And when the apocalypse happens we’ll last far longer on our stored fat supplies than our skinny sisters too.

    Like

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