Does Anything Test A Woman’s Love More Than Man Flu?

postcard - couple kissing with surgical masks ...

 

Is there anything worse than a man who is sick?

 

Or who thinks he is?

 

Is there any greater test of a woman’s capacity to love, than when her partner suffers from a bad case of Man Flu?

 

Given the choice, I’d prefer to go on a three-week Paleo diet and put naked ‘before and after’ shots of my muffin top on my school’s Facebook page than look after the old man when he has a cold the flu.

 

This is just one of the areas that men are the weaker sex.

 

Definition of Man FluA woman gets a cold and life continues as normal. A man gets a cold and they expect the world to stop revolving while they plan their funeral.

 

Perhaps our maker invented man flu to try and instill some empathy in women? Or more likely – to test our superior strength, like he did with menstruation, childbirth and menopause.

 

I had to lie in bed last night and listen to the old man as he hacked and spluttered and spread his vile germs thoughtlessly all over our clean sheets. Frankly, a cockroach would have make a much more appealing bed partner.

 

Just saying, but he could have gone to the spare room so that one of us could have got some sleep.

 

 

But the worst thing about the old man when he thinks he’s sick is that he dons my dressing gown, which I find strangely revolting.

 

He truly believes that he attracts a far more virulent case of whatever sickness the rest of the family is exposed to. He packed me off to the pharmacy this morning to buy flu medication and a thermometer. When the pharmacist assured me that all he really needed for the flu was Panadol, I had to insist on a product with the word ‘flu’ on the packaging, just to appease him.

 

She smiled knowingly.

 

I invested in some surgical masks while I was there.

 

But there is one true test of the flu – you don’t eat when you have the flu. So if you can still ram a large bowl of cereal down your neck and demand comfort food in bed, it’s definitely a cold, I begin to get a little skeptical. 

 

Bowl of Honeycomb cereal

 

The old man disagrees. As he dragged his aching body out of bed to fix himself some breakfast, he quoted in that affected, sick way, ‘ feed a cold and feed a fever, Lou. I need to get my strength back up.’

 

 

 

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11 thoughts on “Does Anything Test A Woman’s Love More Than Man Flu?

  1. Are you sure you’re not my antipodean doppelgänger?
    I had proper, ‘can’t get up to get a glass of water so I’ll just dehydrate’ flu, whilst pregnant and having to look after a small child and Husband went off to a music festival. His mum has to have a heart op and he refers to it as a ‘procedure’. Yet HE has an upset stomach and we’re all meant to fab his fevered brow and talk in hushed tones. He has at least learnt that unless he’s actually properly dying I’m not going to pay any attention, and even then it’ll just be to check where the life insurance policy is kept.

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  2. So funny & so true! I remember years ago my husband “suffering” all day with his horrible illness, complaining about how awful he felt.

    When we got into bed, he suddenly became all amorous. I looked at him with my you’ve got to be kidding look & said, “I thought you were sick”? His reply, “I’m sick, I’m not dead”!

    He was lucky I didn’t kill him instantly!

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    1. Typical! I didn’t mention the fact that he devoured a plate of Thai too. I’ve had the flu twice in my life – he seems to get it every year – and you can’t move from your bed or eat or even talk. It’s a cold.

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  3. Man flu is the worst! I have no sympathy for my husband when he has it, especially when he refuses to take anything for it. We have all manner of cold and flu medications in the cupboard, but instead of taking them, he just complains about how sick he feels. I think its particularly irksome at the moment because I am breastfeeding and can only take panadol when I get sick, but still have to get on with life.

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    1. I have the opposite problem – I spend a fortune at the pharmacy on every flu medication just to make him feel better although apparently Panadol is the best thing. He tells me what his temperature is every hour!

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  4. Ha ha I’m not sure about showing off my current muffin top on FACIE, it ain’t pretty! But I have a super hero husband who never complains when he’s sick which SUCKS because it means he hates it when I do and has NO sympathy for sick people – not sure which is worse!

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