The answer is obviously ‘no.’ I’ll explain how I know.

 

We experienced this wonderful and unexpected family bonding session a week ago when we found ourselves in the house all at the same time and uncharacteristically sharing the same space together without a sign of impending meltdown. And for some ridiculously over-sentimental reason – it must have been my period – I suggested we drag out the home videos.

 

Around hour five, a cute video of a three-year old Kurt came on the television; he was opening a toy fire engine on Christmas Day that was almost as big as him. I remember that fire engine well, because by Boxing Day, we had hidden the batteries.

 

Anyway, as Kurt watched the mini version of himself open that present, he said quietly to me, ‘I’d still be excited to get one of those.’

 

*Sends back very expensive mobile phone for birthday present and heads straight to Toys R Us*

 

He’s a character of many layers, my son. On the one side there is impulsive Kurt who needs to challenge himself and society, experiment and court danger and on the other there is this simple boy who can concentrate for hours on the things he really enjoys, like Top Gear or playing guitar, or…..other stuff.

 

Obviously, the fire engine sent his thought processes into overdrive and within a few days he had decided to spend some of his savings on a new Lego model.

 

DID I MENTION THAT HE’S SEVENTEEN NEXT WEEK?

 

I was in two minds. I knew that the old man would be appalled and start tutting again. It was one of those awkward moments when Kurt was looking for a reaction from me, like when he used to wear NC’s school dresses and we let it go UNTIL the evening he came down to one of our dinner parties dressed in one, and he was that bit TOO old to be cute, if you know what I mean. Our attempt to be accepting and liberal parents flew straight out of the window, I’m ashamed to admit.

 

I never pretended we were fucking perfect. We’ve grown up a lot since then. At least I have.

 

Of course it was on the tip of my tongue to say to him, ‘don’t you think you’re too old for Lego?’

 

But we are about to enter a dangerous zone with Kurt over the next few weeks as we prepare to move. ADHD does not cope well with change.

 

So I considered the model dump truck on the Lego website and decided that it might actually take his mind off our impending move, keep him busy and stop him from making me check his packed boxes every two minutes or asking me how many hours until we move, billions of times per day.

 

Of course, he completed the damned thing within hours and it made him very, very happy.

 

Nuff said, I think.