Blowing The Budget At Christmas

The biggest bonus about doing your Christmas shopping online is being able to sneak in extra personal purchases, so when you’re being tortured by the in-house financial Gestapo about over-spending, you can fob them off as presents. 

Blowing Your Budget At Christmas
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As you are aware, I am unfortunately married to Tightus Pocketus, and so during our VERY LONG marriage I have been forced to come up with underhand clever ways to make many of my personal shopping purchases surreptitiously.

 

Blowing The Budget At Christmas

 

Because for some reason my shopping prowess upsets him, and it’s becoming apparent, as we age together, that his inability to co-enjoy my purchases is beginning to affect his health.

 

You see, as we approach middle-age and have had to prepare for all that really boring ‘getting older’ stuff (yawn!), like retirement and health plans, the old man’s pockets have become even smaller when it comes to what he terms ‘unnecessary expenditure.

 

‘Unnecessary expenditure’ is categorised as anything fun or stuff that I like to spend money on, such as holidays, clothes, jewellery and shoes.

 

http://www.gettyimages.com/detail/88853342

 

So every year or so, I have been forced to develop new tactics to enable myself to purchase those few NECESSARY extras without getting caught or persecuted by financial control. Cash has been my best friend in the past, as TP finds it harder to trace our cash expenditure from the bank statement, but there is a limit to what I can allocate to cash and occasionally I have come unstuck. According to TP, those times have been noted in our marital history as when I compromised the seal of trust that should be the foundation of a marriage – his words, not mine.

 

A few months ago, I asked NC to pay for something on my behalf and the old man accused me of dragging our innocent daughter down to my basement level of dishonesty and refused to speak to me for weeks.

 

I can’t remember if I noticed…

 

Which is why December is such a joyous month for shopping extravagancia when all those parcels FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS arrive at the apartment and Scrooge is so bogged down by the abject misery of what Christmas symbolizes for him – seasonal ‘unnecessary spending’ – that he is blind to my clever shopping tactics.

 

My excuse for hoodwinking him is that if he only demonstrated an ounce of understanding of what the average woman’s needs are at Christmas – new outfits for Christmas Day and New Years Eve as a bare minimum – I wouldn’t have to be so damned cagey about the whole process.

 

And there are just so many enticing, pre-Christmas, Christmas sales on at the moment, that I can’t actually understand why his analytical brain doesn’t see how much money I am actually saving us.

 

As NC pointed out the other day when she successfully sourced a $45 pair of shoes in the sales for $18 – ‘well, they were practically free!’

 

So proud.

 

6 thoughts on “Blowing The Budget At Christmas

  1. Amen!
    This month I’ve been asked how much of my Christmas bonus I’m spending on extra mortgage payment/savings (that’d be none of it – I’ve got CHRISTMAS to shop for, d’uh) and what present he could get me that will cost as little as possible. (That’s ok – I’ve bought what I want for myself, thanks.)
    I don’t hear him moaning when they get their more generous gift or when tucking into all the food.
    At least pre-ghostly visit Scrooge had the grace and decency to live by himself!

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    1. OMG! Harsh! Our present budget has been reduced again this year – almost not worth the effort of going to the shops. The old man is hoping I’ll buy mine but I’m putting him through the pain of coming with me.

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  2. Haha. I’m always spending my husband’s hard earned dosh. Tonight I treated a Kenyan friend of mine out for frozen yoghurt at one of those self-serve and we weigh your cup places, then up to the Telstra Tower to take in the panoramic views of Canberra and then to see some Christmas lights. Husband and I also dropped off a couple of Stable Tables wrapped up for Christmas for our elderly ex-neighbours who spend most of their days on the couch as they are too ill these days to do much else. I love giving, but I also love buying stuff for myself (like the new samsung phone cases (yes – two – I couldn’t decide), my new kobo case, and a box of Sue Grafton books… oh, and a hypnosis weight loss CD…). The joys of being a DINK. 😀 p.s. Mrs Louisa, I sincerely hope TP doesn’t read your blog!

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    1. That’s lovely – I wish we could be as relaxed. I love giving too but the old man is still considering the pros and cons. Yes, he does read it – I don’t write anything I don’t already say to his face.

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