Are Separate Bedrooms The Beginning Of The End?

woman-506120_1280So the old man has finally committed to the purchase of a bed for his study. Not, as I originally suspected, for those afternoon naps we all know he has when he pretends to be working, but somewhere to migrate to in the early hours of the morning when the snoring Olympics begin, of which I, (apparently), am a contender for gold.

Part of me thinks that this could be a dangerous step for our marriage; the other part wants to dance on the ceiling with excitement at the prospect of a good nights sleep. As he has justified, sleeping in separate rooms can’t be any more dangerous to our marriage than the current lack of sleep or the dangerous level of psychotic resentment he feels towards me at 5am each morning.

The stigma that used to surround the move to separate bedrooms must be waning and is certainly no longer limited to people in middle age these days, when even young celebs like Hamish and Zoe Blake are coming out to enthuse about the benefits of a good nights sleep. Recent statistics suggest that as many as one in six couples sleep in different bedrooms. 

The old man has promised me that this won’t become a permanent move and that he will start each night in the marital bed. But I have my doubts. I think the temptation will prove too great once we both begin to reap the benefits of a solid 8hrs sleep.

His study is already beginning to resemble a man cave, with its in-built entertainment from the family Mac and the wine stores that we conceal in there from Kurt. Some fancy new bed linen will guarantee the permanent migration of The Princess each night, so it’s doubtful he will ever leave.

Not that I will miss the prods and terrifying middle-of-the-night commands to ‘ROLL OVER’; the main reason I’m throwing caution to the wind and ignoring the information that such a move might mean a loss of intimacy and connection.

Instead, I’m choosing to see this as an exciting new chapter in our relationship, forcing it to evolve into the arena practiced historically by monarchs, where I can invite him back into the matrimonial chamber when I so desire.

Obviously, never going to happen.

Anyone else made the move?

14 thoughts on “Are Separate Bedrooms The Beginning Of The End?

  1. Please talk to me- separate beds are good occasionally only. If I was Dr Phil I would be suggesting injecting some romance into your life. After all you are both highly attractive very intelligent people…..failing that get something to stop you snoring😳!!!!! 💞💞💞


  2. 2 things #1. Check for apnea (for both?)
    #2. Being so tuned in is psychic & biological & you both will probably sleep better, separately.


  3. We migrated to separate bedrooms over 10 years ago when my husband’s snoring, tossing and turning and flailing limbs not only kept me awake all night, but injured me. We don’t tell many people, as they think our marriage is in trouble. One friend cried for us when I bragged about separate bedrooms. We would never go back, and now friends are even secretly telling me they envy us.


  4. My mum always says that sharing a bedroom was for peasants because they couldn’t afford separate rooms. I constantly roll my poor husband over and many times one of us has moved into the spare room to try to get a decent night’s sleep. I even take a sleeping pill to try to sleep deeply enough to keep his snoring from waking me – it’s certainly a dilemma of Midlife – but not the end of a marriage by any means 🙂
    Leanne | cresting the hill


  5. Being a night owl, l crawl into bed in the wee hours of the morning. The man is not usually snoring by that time and I can instantly fall to sleep again. The man has also not been complaining of my snoring this past year, so I’m contributing that to my weight loss. Post menopause is awful, awful when trying to lose weight, but a friend of mine is an RN in Women’s Health and introduced Estrace cream which is administered in a very, very low dose and just enough Estrogen. The last few years have been heaven, not only been able to reduce the weight, not quite down to the results I want, but one whole pant size which is what I would normally wear. I know its a bit off the topic of separate sleeping quarters, but it helped spark me up in the bedroom as opposed to no intimacy.


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