What Happened To The Fearlessness Of My Youth?

It is no secret that anxiety can be linked to menopause, and for some women, the condition can be so bad, it forces them to turn to anti-depressants to get through it.

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According to Medical News Today: ‘Hormone changes, life stresses, sleep problems, worries about body image, infertility, boring marriages and aging are all factors linked to menopause that can contribute to mood swings, stress, anxiety, irritability bordering on psychopathy and a decreased sense of any rationality well-being in women.’

There’s nothing worse than feeling anxious all the time, and if I could change one element of this period of my life, it would be the sense of irrational fear that has worked its way into my everyday consciousness.

I often wonder where the fearlessness I had as a child and young adulthood disappeared to in the ageing process. Anxiety diffuses my every thought to the point where I’ve even started to worry on behalf of others. I stop to watch the surfers at the beach and instead of envying them their majestic feat of travel through water, all I can think about are the waves strong enough to crush them, sharks, rips, Russian submarines, and ear infections.

Fortunately for them, their passion overrides their fear.

What happened to the kid that used to roll and bound down steep hills and steps, without worrying about falling over? When did I stop swinging across monkey bars, spinning the swing almost 360 degrees and climbing trees – okay, so I never actually climbed trees.

Did we do all that because our brains were underdeveloped, or has experience taught us to be more careful?

I often wonder what happened to the girl who lived and worked in a foreign country, drove across Europe by herself, hitchhiked and took her chances with Lotharios she’d never consider leaving her daughter with now.  What happened to that courageous young woman who reinvented herself so many times in the workplace that not even she recognised herself?

What happened to the fearlessness of my youth? When did fear start to impede my enjoyment of life?

Anyone else feel this way?

6 thoughts on “What Happened To The Fearlessness Of My Youth?

  1. Great post, Louisa. Life did seem much simpler back when.

    I’ve got a different take on this though. I’m a bit sick of people telling me I’m a catastrophiser, or that the anxiety is hormone-related. Thankfully, I was backed up by my doctor, who said that I worried for good reason. Hallelujah, someone who gets it. I have the joy of having strange, interesting yet wonderful children. I worry (for me and them) because I want to be around when they fall. And no, I’m not being overly protective.

    I know I’ll get through the latest hiccup. I just have to. So the anxiety is good, if uncomfortable, because at least I am alive and so is my young man. That doesn’t mean I don’t yearn for a more carefree existence.

    Make hay, and drink wine, while the sun shines.

    Regards, Tracy.

    Liked by 1 person

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