- Panty liners and wet wipes – for when you sneeze, cough, laugh or have to jump on a trampoline to pretend you like little kids (and trampolines) at a family kid’s party.
- Thick foundation – to cover those break-outs of middle-aged acne or Rosacea triggered by all that intense
red wine drinkingexercise you’ve done recently.
- A timer – to make sure you don’t digress from your daily routine of a) pajamas by 3pm b) wine by 5pm, and c) bed by 9pm.
- Earplugs – so you can’t hear him when he begs for sex, mansplains or wants a money conversation.
- Aldi trolley coin – because one day… they will bring their Churros back.
- A backpacker’s expanding travel towel -for hot flushes.
- Spanx – in case you bump into another soulmate.
- Tweezers – for those rogue hairs that sprout when you’re away from home and are nurtured by office lighting.
- A pacifier – to remind you that life isn’t that bad.
- Snacks – for those hunger emergencies in between snacks.
- A hip flask – for your morning gin.
- A mini fan – because…menopause.
- Perfume – because you might be invisible, but you can still knock them dead with your scent.
- Condom – because you just never know
- Valium – In case there’s nowhere to buy coffee.
What have I missed?
My Midlife Mayhem 
Hahaha that made my morning!!!
Maybe spare reading glasses in handbag for when you can’t find your original misplaced reading glasses that have been on top of your head for the last hour of fruitless searching!!! 😜😜
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😀love this
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Thank you!
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Very funny, though not sure I need any of them YET, well maybe a fan and a hip flask. But I love the boots in the picture….definitely need those!
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Yes, they’re rather nice aren’t they, although not many women my age would be wearing them.
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Tissues are a must! Previously brought along as a ‘Mum necessity’ using the children as an excuse, but now much needed for that constant damp bit at the end of my nose (which can form into a drip if I’m not on top of it) especially when outside in the cool British climate.
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Excellent! Also good when you forget poo bags for the dog.
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I think you just about covered it. You sure made my evening. LMAO
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Goody. Dental floss was another contribution from a friend, because…spinach.
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