Why Do I Pee So Much? The Question So Many Middle-Aged Women Ask Themselves

In a vain search to reach the level of physical perfection required of middle-aged women, I’m endeavouring to drink more water.

My hope is that by upping the volume of water that passes through my body each day, I will drug a niggling kidney stone, transform my sallow complexion to the porcelain finish of my twenties, eat less, and sort out some digestive issues that started in menopause.

Basically, I’m expecting a miracle

Young, healthy woman drinking a glass of water
How I expect to look once I retrain my bladder. Photo by Giorgio Trovato on Unsplash

Apparently, water is the elixir of life, and women should drink around 2L of the stuff a day. But I don’t even fulfil that criteria by counting my coffees, Sloe gins, and the desperate slugs my body demands after every attempt at exercise.

And none of them count, anyway.

The biggest problem I have with water is my body’s refusal to retain it long enough to do any good.

It’s like I have some structural issue whereby my oesophagus extends all the way to my urethra and there are no STOP signs along the way.

I’ve worked out the issue is not solely related to my shoddy pelvic floor – from birthing two babies, one of whom weighed more than a toddler and shot from my body with the speed of a canon ball – because I can still hold on, when I have to.

Just about…

But I can literally drink a glass of water and watch it exit my body before I finish it

Fortunately, because I haven’t experienced any other side effects or discomfort, my issue points to a frequent urination problem – thank you, Dr. Google – possibly caused by an overactive bladder or decreased oestrogen, and not helped by anxiety.

A very common issue in middle-aged women.

And while I always suspected that my bladder was the only naturally active part of my body, I do need to understand how to fix the problem before I get caught in a compromising position.

So what can I do?

Obviously, I don’t need tips to get more of the stuff down me, and the suggestion of cutting back on coffee and alcohol is tricky right now – as we’re currently in lockdown in Sydney, hence not the best time to reduce two of the few remaining pleasures in my life – see self-care/mental health.

So, on the advice of a nurse friend of mine, I’m giving bladder retraining a go. I’m trying to monitor how often I go to the bathroom and delaying urination a little more each time.

Admittedly, it’s about as much fun as the name suggests and (I imagine) feels a lot like the pain addicts experience during withdrawal – my fix being the bathroom – but I am getting better at it.

There’s no easy solution, unfortunately, and in hindsight I wish I’d done my pelvic floor exercises after childbirth

But I refuse to feel ashamed about a little incontinence caused by the awesomeness of the female body. And thank God for celebrities like Kate Winslet and her confession about her problem – “I can’t jump on trampolines anymore, I wet myself” – for bringing more awareness to it.

I won’t underplay the difficulty of drinking enough water at this age, and I’m not sure that rewarding myself with food treats while I wait fifteen minutes longer to pee is necessarily helping my goal of eating less, but at least I have the clear complexion of a twenty-year-old to look forward to.

How about you? Are you struggling with frequent urination or incontinence? If so, what treatments have worked?

10 thoughts on “Why Do I Pee So Much? The Question So Many Middle-Aged Women Ask Themselves

  1. OMG I literally could’ve written this post, about the peeing, the weak bladder and the love of adult beverages. I would love to know more about the “retraining of your bladder” advice your nurse friend gave you. I really think this is something I must try soon. Great blog post!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I feel you, sister. For me, a doctor-prescribed estrogen cream gave me back a LOT of my former bladder control. I had no idea that it was a hormonal issue until I discussed it with my ob/gyn. I also found out there were 65 other symptoms, some of them truly bizarre (gall bladder spasms, tinnitus, tissue paper fingernails, worsening allergies, etc.). As a public service announcement, I recorded the whole litany here: https://www.xanaru.com/single-post/2017/02/17/a-gentle-love-letter-to-menopause-with-swearing

    Liked by 1 person

  3. My doctor once gave me a “bladder satisfaction survey.” I looked at him like he was crazy, but then he told me lots of women who’ve given birth have problems with what I will call “escapee pee.” Ooohhhhhhh, I see. Since I haven’t had kids, I hadn’t realized it was a problem. Thus, I can’t empathize, but I can and do sympathize.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. you can still do kegels and I have heard that it’s good to eat a piece of fruit for hydration, it helps absorb the water into your body

    Liked by 1 person

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